Existential but Not Essential

I must do more of these.  I don't know why they are turning out so well now, but I am crazy for them. There is a quality somewhere between an autochrome and a wet plate, I think.  Oh, my.

I haven't much to say today.  I have worked and worried too much, am run down in every way both physically and mentally.  That is what happens when you don't take a true vacation for years.  Somewhere along the line I became either to lonesome or fearful perhaps.  I stay within the confines of a very small radius.  Part of it is money.  I spend it on the studio and can't bring myself to give myself another luxury.  Perhaps the studio is killing me.  That and a complete lack of success in photography.  I am beginning to see all of it as a huge and expensive waste of time.  When I look at the images, I see genius or something akin to it, some sort of interesting talent at least.  And there are a handful of people who like them, too.  But out in the larger world. . . well, it hasn't been overwhelming.  I shouldn't say that.  I have been overwhelmed indeed, by the lack of excitement.  I am undone by others success a bit.  Ed Ross's work is everywhere and meets with much critical acclaim.  Slava Pirsky's work, too.

Ah, well. . . enough pissing in my coffee.  It is time to go to the factory where I am another inessential part in an everyday world.  Existence precedes essence.  Or so they say.