One day left, and I am still the top bidder on the Leica M Monochrom. This time, I have no doubts. If I win it for this price, I'll be ecstatic, but I am certain that I won't. I haven't the anxiety I had about the last one I bid on. Soon I will feel good enough just to buy a used one outright. I just have to get used to the idea of having the money leave me.
As I do for the bathroom repair. Invited to the beach tonight, I've had to turn down the invitation so that I can go look for a new shower and tiles. Destruction starts Monday morning. My house was built in the 1920's, so I am perplexed about how to do the shower. The repairman had assumed I just wanted to take out the tub, retile, and hang a shower curtain. I had been thinking a glass stall. Now, though, I am not sure. I don't want the bathroom not to fit with the rest of the house. I need more time to think this through, but I don't have it. Seems to always be the case.
Tomorrow morning, if I were to go to the beach tonight, I would wake before dawn to watch Ili's mother dig out the turtle eggs that haven't hatched in the nest she has sponsored. After the hatch, I've been told, there are still eggs in the nest. As a former biologist (well. . . only a bachelor's degree), I am uncertain about this mucking about. Are they sending turtles into the world that were better left for dead? They tell me that the effects of development on the beach has buggered the natural process anyway, so. . . ? I could watch the little ones make their way to the sea to be eaten by seagulls and predatory fish, but somehow I do not wish to. No, I will let them have their fun on their own.
This Saturday will be the last in July I am told. Summer is passing rapidly. I need to plan a getaway quickly, but things like bathroom repairs are flummoxing me. I can't go and leave the repairman here to do what he wants. And the hurricane season will get busy here soon, too, and it is always hard to leave when that happens now that I have had a house destroyed once. I have to be here to triage if anything goes wrong.
I take all this to bed with me at night. It is the wrong thing to do. Things that I take to bed that are worrisome need to be shed. One should live an unburdened life. I should unburden myself of the bad things that I take to bed.
That's a funny line.
I will go to the beach this weekend, though, and leave little pus-pus in the care of the tenant. It is hard and I swear I will never have a pet again unless it is wild and comes around to see me once in awhile. I don't want to take care of anything anymore. I grow old and lazy. I just want to sleep more and eat well and exercise lightly and take walks and go to yoga and read books and quit drinking so much whiskey. Perhaps I'll sell my house and get a little room in a place that has lots of outdoor spaces that I do not have to care for.
I think that is called a retirement center. Aigghheee!!!!
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