Existential Loneliness

An article in the New York Times today looks at the change in China's One Child policy.  Now families can have two, so all of China's only children are going to whine.  "It was great as a child, being spoiled with toys and attention, but now without siblings, I am left to shoulder the burden of aging parents and relatives on my own."  Something like that.  Whaaaa.  The Times suggests, though, that the One Child policy was redundant, anyway, as most people were opting to have only a single child due to economic factors.  And now that the policy has been changed, most couples don't want the expense of a second child.

People are the same all over, I guess.  The study showing that it is only in the middle-aged white population that death rates are going up--mostly due to suicide, alcohol, and drug abuse.  Critics extrapolate from this that more of them lack religion and are unmarried and that it is a profound sense of loneliness that is afflicting them.  WTF?

I would extrapolate differently.  First of all, I don't think suicide is a terrible thing.  Hospice relieves people of that decision every day, but that is usually just a mercy killing and comes very late.  What I think that group suffers from is too many "friends," too many social groups.  Everyone feels the existential dread, of course, but we have not taught people how to deal with it.  The void opens up and we are afraid to fall in.  Everyone thinks they need to be happy, and I think it is this drive for happiness that is killing people.

"I don't know. . . I'm just not happy."

"No shit?  Why don't you go to the mall.  That will make you feel better."

"I ain't got enough money for everything I want."

"Did something happen on Facebook?"

"Well. . . I said something and a lot of people unfriended me.  I get it.  I need to get married again, maybe, have another kid, you know. . . ?  Everybody's got these cute family pictures up.  It's what everybody's doing."

"Yea, that would probably make you feel better.  You should do it!  I'll bet you'll be popular again in no time."

O.K.  I'm being smarmy.  And I like to whine as much as anyone as you know if you read this blog for long.  But whining needs to be artful, not a dull thud-a-thud-a-thud.  Self-awareness is important when you are whining.  It is like a little sugar with your vinegar.

All I can say is thank god I don't live in China.  That bullshit would drive me over the cliff.  Living in China would be enough punishment, but listening to the drip-drip-drip of lonely only children. . . fuck me.  I get more than enough of that here and now.

Oh. . . by the way. . . I can't sleep at night.  I have nightmares of being old and alone.  I don't think I can deal with all the things I must, and it gets worse as I get older.  Can any of you help me out?

"You'll die alone."  That from the little Russian Jew with her three-year-old boy who her mother watches most of the time.  She is lonesome, goes on StinkyFish.com trying to find a mate.  She will avoid dying alone, she hopes.  She's broke, but maybe she'll have another kid.  After all, she has her mother to help her.

No, I think the answer to people's problems are more children, more brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews.  You can never have enough people.  So. . . a big thanks to China.  And to Facebook, too.