Thursday, June 22, 2017
I got beautified yesterday. I hate sitting in front of the mirror. I try to avert my eyes, but once in a while I look up and see the horrible vision. I do not like me in the mirror. What happened? I was not careful.
I am losing confidence. Soon enough, I will not be able to look anyone in the eye. Maybe that is why I don't mind being alone.
But the beautician does what she can. She is good at it. Maybe it is just her mirror.
I may start a series of self-portraits. I have the germ of an idea. I have to work out some of the technical details, but it is do-able, and it seems I am not encouraged to photograph anyone else. You cannot imagine how much it is killing me.
Literally and figuratively. I want to leave things behind.
I mean both readings of that line.
I am vainglorious, oversensitive, and undisciplined.
And so it goes.
at 4:54 AM