This picture is a mistake, a fragment, a confused moment. It could be said to mirror a feeling of nothingness, an empty life. It would be a strained and amateurish comparison, but it could be said.
Something missing, something disappearing. Something insipid.
The morning is foggy, damp and cool, a southern winter's day of indeterminate length.
I haven't paid Henry the yardman for two months. I just don't see him. He has been coming when I am not here. I thought I would catch him before Christmas, but he snuck in while I was out. I feel terrible. I wanted to give him money. I can't mail him payments. I don't know his address. I don't have a phone number. He has been taking care of my yard since 1988, I think, and I have never known any information about him other than his name. It is terrible, but how could I ask him now? No, we will continue on in this mysterious way until he just doesn't show up again, and I will wonder what happened to him.
My buddy gave me a picture of Brando sitting with a wild gorilla in Idi Amin's Ugandan jungle. It is big and framed and so I can't scan it and all pictures show a reflection in the glass. I tried to find one on the internet, but this is the best I could do.
It is supposed to be a joke gift as he and I were both swindled by our good buddy who used our money for other purposes. That was a long while ago, and now Brando is dead. I've decided to hold onto the picture rather than throwing it away, though I may change my mind tomorrow. A different world, a different time.
I need to take a trip, but I don't have the internal resources just now. Sometimes the fates have their own inevitable plans. For now, I'll just have to flow with the tides.
I'm just in from the morning dog walk - it was 18 degrees when I left and it is 21 upon my return. Clear & sunny tho. None of the wind that wreaked havoc upon us Christmas day. Clocked at 73 MPH in Falmouth. Trees down and power lost - thankfully mine came back on swiftly as I was responsible for Christmas supper.
ReplyDeleteMy niece, from your southern climes, enjoyed being caught in a snow squall while out on an after supper sojourn - snowflakes actually looking like snowflakes falling on our clothes - and she with her camera snapping away at the ice and fragile flakes. These are the best parts of Christmas.
One of the new neighbor horses has taken kindly to my presence. I haven't yet met the Vet who moved in - but have been speaking to the horses every morning. They are shy and probably anxious in their new surroundings but this morning when I said my morning greetings, one came running up to the fence. It made me happy. I hope to be formerly introduced soon and look forward to bringing down carrots and apples if allowed.
I head to NYC tomorrow with my brother, sister-in-law and niece. Tomorrow evening my brother and I will be with Mr. Springsteen on Broadway while my sister-in-law and niece take in another show. Then The Met with my niece on Friday - her first time. My brother anxious to see the Rodin exhibit.
Grace's gift this year is a piece of original art - yet to be picked out.
Okay. Enough about me. :) Don't ever get rid of the photo. Send it to me if you can't stand it in your house anymore.
If I abandon it, I will certainly send it to you :)
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