Pissing Away

Monochrom just before dark.  

Pissing away my vacay gardening and eating and drinking and watching movies and not much else.  At night I sleep awhile and then wake up and worry.  I wake up because my body hurts.  I will have already tossed and turned this way and that finding new positions that will not pain me for awhile, but by the time I wake up to worry, I am in too much pain to even try to sleep.  I should never have played basketball, should never have touched a weight.  I should never have done a lot of things.

After the first cup of coffee, things begin to settle a bit.  In my mind, I mean.  By the time the sun rises, I am ready for bed again, but I usually wait until afternoon when I will have a glass of wine and take a little nap.  I look forward to that nap the way I used to look forward to other things.

Jesus.

Monochrom just before dark.