Pretty California days. Not so here. Still sick. Another day on the couch. I'll miss getting beautified. Ha! I try to dream of better things, but nightmares come to haunt me. T.V. is a bust. I am not well enough to read. So I will lean back, close my eyes, and wait for better days.
Here's your counter whining weight.
ReplyDeleteI was sick for two weeks. 4 full days on the couch. Still lingering.
Now I'm heartsick. It's worse.
It's here - just like you "hear" - the loss and pain sets in after the shock and sympathy wears off.
When no one talks about your love anymore - when your best friend is gone - when your skin physically aches for that touch - on your back or through your hair. When all you want is to hear his voice - or run your hands through his beard. I'm sitting hear sobbing - my heart feels like it is crushed and bleeding inside my chest. It comes over you like a tidal wave - at any time.
Someone new moved into his cottage. All the gardens we worked on over the last 3 years are no longer ours to tend to - I called him Macgregor these last few years because of his arguments with the rabbits.
But I'll have to put it away for now - get in the shower and work. Work is how I dull the pain.
Till then...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJwPVpDAAdc
Yup. Loss. Nothing really helps all the way. I guess we just live through it and adjust.
DeleteOr not.
It's fucked.