I didn't go to the factory today. I went to the gym, had a brief soup lunch, and then went to get beautified. Getting beautified takes a long time, and I usually get sleepy. Indeed, I usually fall asleep on the beautician's couch in my foils while she colors somebody else's hair. After that, I am not worth much. But today, after the gym and only soup, I decided to have a scotch for company on the drive. She gave me a glass of wine when I got there. Boy was I sleepy. She talked of her troubles and I talked of mine. Everybody's got troubles sooner or later, that's for sure.
After the beauty treatment, I went to the grocery store where I ran into the fellow who will replace me at the factory. I see him out at one of two places: the grocery store or the liquor store. We chatted for about half an hour about how poor I will be and how much better off he will be and about my decline in general. He knows about most things I'm going through. It is nice to have an ear.
Then it was home to feed Feral the Cat and to pour a pick me up. It will be difficult not to become an alcoholic when I am no longer working.
I made an easy but healthy dinner and settled in for a night of watching the news, some YouTube, etc. But as things seem to turn, I got a call from my buddy in Yosemite just as I did from one of my old friends the night before. These are two of my closest friends, and how I wish they lived here now. But the conversations with them were as they have always been, light and extremely witty, and they made me feel better than I felt before. That, I guess, is what friends are for. In my coming retirement, I will go to see each of them just as I have almost decided to go and see my friend in Thailand. All my friends agree. Exotic travel would be best for curing my state of mind. Indeed, I suspect they are right.
Today's picture is a bit of exotica. Look, these photos are akin to a confession. Don't even ask. It was a long time ago. You wouldn't understand.
The Valiant was my aunt and uncle's car. I remember it had push buttons on the dash for shifting gears and that the ignition was under the gas pedal. You turned the key on and then pressed the accelerator down and it would start. Weird car. But a lot of things were strange. My aunt smoked Raleigh cigarettes because they gave coupons. The more she smoked, the more she earned. I remember going through the coupon magazines with her. After many cartons of cigarettes, she would get a lamp or some other household product. She lived a fairly long life, though, and she didn't get lung cancer, so. . . .
I'll go to the factory tomorrow and listen to my secretary cry some more. My replacement told me she cries every day. She may be the only person crying for me in the world today. I don't know if we will stay in touch. I'm no good at that, but with her, I might. More likely than most.
I wish I had a poem or something in me tonight, but I don't. Ili comes tomorrow while I'm at work to get the rest of her things. We don't talk, just text. After tomorrow, I believe, we won't need to do that unless something comes up. I'm thinking of taking a road trip south for a few days to spend some dollars. Palm Beach. Miami. I've been thinking of making some videos for my YouTube channel which I haven't posted to for many years. It would be something to do, and I think I could be good at it. But it is just a thought. Still. . . I need to get away for a bit to not think. Not thinking might be nice.
Heading South would be good for you. I know the Keys have been destroyed by new money but even so some of the crazy is still there. It might do you good. Heck go to the Dry Tortugas and sit a spell in ole Sam Mudd’s suite at Fort Jefferson – that is misery built out of coquina.
ReplyDeleteYour friends are right travel is good. You need it. I sometimes just jump in a car and start driving until I am proper lost. Getting lost is good for you, you never know what you might find. It is good to stay for a while in a little town where not a single soul knows you. Spend some time, have coffee at the local diner, a lunch where the locals go, dinner in a hotel that still has something of the character when it first opened a hundred years ago. In a town where no one knows you and just as important where you know no one means you can be anyone you want -- no expectations, no past, no set preconceptions. You can be anyone you want to be – you can sometimes even be yourself.
ReplyDeleteI want to stay here sometime:
https://www.floridarambler.com/florida-lodging-cabins-bb/everglades-city-rod-and-gun-club-visit-the-past/
Not because of any famous writer or anything like that - but just because. I make my brother take me to Everglades City nearly every time I visit him. And since I saw it 10 years ago - I've had a yen to stay.
But yeah - go. Anywhere. Everywhere you can.
I will tell you a story about my day yesterday. I am looking for a small writing desk for the She Shed. A guy had some stuff on Craigslist for free - so I called him and made an appointment to drive out to where the house was - about 30 minutes from my house.
He was an English guy who currently lives in Tobago. The house was smokey and sooty - not too clean. But I poked around and found a very sweet little desk - has little compartments for envelopes etc. Perfect for my space. As I sat there, I explained that I had a "getaway cabin" in my backyard and that I was looking for a little desk to write while I'm out there.
The gentleman said "My father wrote all his correspondence at that desk - he was a writer as well." I asked him then, what did his father write? "Well, true crime mostly but funny thing, he became a world renowned expert on Jack the Ripper." And I said - "well obviously I must have this desk."
I picked up a few other little trinkets - including a vintage English candy tin. It is quite lovely - with little feet and embossed metal flowers. I said "I'll take this to keep my weed in out in the shed." To which he replied - "Do you want some weed to go with it? My step-mother was a big pot smoker and also she cooked with it - she was a chef - brownies - cookies etc." Sure I said. And he opened a cupboard and handed me a mason jar half full of some older weed. I told him I would be cooking with it as well.
On my way out I saw what appeared to be a piece of stained glass - sooty and dirty - on a chair. I couldn't really tell what it was but liked it immediately and added it to my growing pile of stuff. When I got home - I cleaned it with windex only to discover it is a piece of Frank Lloyd Wright Productions stained glass!
The little paperweight - of a wave - was also filthy. When I cleaned it up I saw it was signed - by a glassblower who worked for Chihuly. It was a delightful adventure all in all.
There were stacks of books - I saw T.S. Eliot and others. But the gentleman said he hadn't finished going through the books yet - maybe when I go back on Friday to pick up my little desk. Strangers can be so interesting. But so can friends.
See my problem is - I can get happily lost anywhere. I think that's part of the reason I've always been a fan of Alice in Wonderland. :)
I'm having Paneer Tikka Masala with Spinach Basmati Rice from Trader Joes - and some Garlic Naan. It's so spicy my nose runs for hours. I love it.
cc is wise.
Oh this is the father's information:
ReplyDeletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Fido
and Restorative Yoga. Try a class. Don't be a dick. It may actually do something good for you. Even one class can help with the regeneration - of the cells of yourself.
ReplyDeleteYes Yes Yes OF COURSE I'm stoned but I actually wanted to mention that earlier - yoga. B.B.S.
It's a great photo. Those perfectly faded colors. I don't even know you but can see what your father did to you. :P . And you know I mean that in the healthiest of ironically funny ways. Man if you saw my mother you'd understand a bit of my story too. You know Ms. Elope with My Father the Night She Was to Marry Someone Else" - mother.
Seaside Park, NJ. I could post some good ones as well. Early 1970's summer beach photos.
Joyfully,
Lisa
Yeah, it's normal for your ex-secretary to mourn you a lot. You're the man she spent her days with, the one she probably had the best relationship with in terms of concrete things. Maybe you even fuelled her fantasies, as long as you were considerate and at the same time had a benevolent distance from her. Feel free to think that she is probably the woman who knows you best in everyday life. She sees you leaving without knowing your secret life, your abandonment, your bestiality. Suddenly, a whole bunch of regrets appear to her...
ReplyDelete