Romantic

Random thoughts after dinner with mom and my cousin.  I cooked.  It was the first time I've cooked for more than one at my house in a couple months.  I forgot how to make a proper presentation.  There are unseen dangers to the life I am living, I guess.

So a few quick notes.  I made a Garibaldi before dinner.  For those of you not in the know, it is a Campari and orange juice.  I like it much more than a mimosa.  But I hadn't eaten all day.  Nothing.  I just forgot.  So that little drink was something.  So was the next one.  But man, scotch is really good.  As it is now after dinner. . . .

I am romantic.  Probably to a fault.  We all know that romantics are the reason the U.S. lost WWII.  Romantics believe in things like the eternal verities.  We know there are no truths, but still we are mired in them.  It is genetic, perhaps, or maybe just astrological.  No matter how much I dig Beckett, I still want the little guy to win.

To wit:

I sent this to many of my friends tonight.  Hell. . . it made me weep.  Why is Van Morrison the only '60s musician with a lick of musical sense now?  He knows how to evolve, man.  He is the Paul Anka of his generation.

Tongue in cheek, but still.

Another scotch is really good, too.

Last night, I went out to take pictures of this Elk's Lodge I remembered from when I used to tool around on my scooter, but I couldn't find it.  Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my phone, so I couldn't Google Map it. I thought that maybe I'd go out and try to find it tonight, but now I don't feel like leaving the house.  Netflix and scotch.  Pathetic.

I am urged to travel by my friends.  They are being helpful and kind, but I don' think they realize the hole that I am in.  A hole.  You know.  A depression.  It is going to take me awhile before things begin to look bright again.  I don't want to go anywhere until they do.  For now, drugs and drink will have to do.

*.  *.  *.  

It is morning.  There is coffee. There is this.

I did laundry yesterday.  It consisted of washcloths and towels, gym clothes, t-shirts, pajamas, and one pair of worn out jeans.  There was my current life in a nutshell.

I woke up at midnight sitting up on the couch.  I must have been like that for hours.