Saturday, March 21, 2020

"Make America, um, like, uh. . . what?"




The feds need to legalize cannabis now.  They need to tax it to pay for unemployment services.  Then, when people get their unemployment checks, they'll run right out and buy some marijuana, and there will be more tax money.  My friends said I need to run for office on that platform.  I said, yea, my slogan would be, "Make America, um, like, uh. . . what?"

I just went online to see about getting a medical marijuana card.  Here are the conditions that will qualify you.



My ex-secretary circled "Alcoholism."  Jerk.  I am a drunk, not an alcoholic.  I haven't been certified.

"Hey, Doc, I think I've got the Vodka Palsy."

It is funny, though, that to qualify for one drug you have to already abuse another.  That's the world in which we live.

Here is what an online conversation with a stoner is like.  This is from a friend of the blog.

Her: I’m so stoned and I’m the grocery store. Again. Getting a big hub of vinegar. Can be used for many things.

Me: Is that like I am the Walrus?

Her: And I have the munch. And want liverwurst radish cornichon with butter on a French baguette

Me: I think “the munch” is something different.

Her: It is happening.



It went on from there.  

I feel better, I know.  I'm starting to get antsy.  I need to be stoned like the rest of you so I can sit in the house and chill and eat and get big in twenty days.  A gummy might make the day taste better. 

4 comments:



  1. Mine was like this:

    (insert picture of the chart here)

    You: I'm not certified for any of these.

    Me. Lol. Seriously?


    But Ex-Secretary's answer is excellent.


    I'm so fucked up. It's wonderful. I have a new tin of colored pencils and a beautiful Paris coloring thing. - "Pictura" Someone gave it to me for Christmas - last year. I am still working on the"Secret Garden" coloring book given to me by my son - but today I lent to to my Ma. She needed something to do - she reads about 2 books every 5 days - trying not to watch the TV - she used to crochet - but her hands are almost too arthritic for all that movement - so she is going to color some tonight. She made me break into my new tin and share 8 colors with her. Mine has 72 but - it was perfect and I really didn't want to share - was going to bring her a more used set I have - but. In the end, I shared.

    Okay. putting on my headphones and going to color.

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  2. The Weed Doctor allows you to self-diagnose. That's the point. "So what's bothering you? What brings you here?"

    "Well doctor, I suffered a severe accident and sometimes have both pain and anxiety related to the incident. I'm not a big believer in prescriptions pain killers and sleeping pills. I am looking to more naturally, with cannabis, help with these symptoms."

    "That will be $300 dollars of your medical buying license, Mr. Carnival."

    Okay. I know. I'm a pusher. It just works so good for me. I want others to feel the same. :)

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