I'm still fiddling with the Liberator camera. I did every step right this time. I was careful. And still, the focus is off. I've been posting the images on some large format camera forums and getting lots of advice. I don't even know what a lot of it means. They want me to check the back focus and something called a T checking the distance from the ground glass to the focal plane. . . . I don't want to. I just want to take pictures. I may abandon the camera. I may just sell it. I am not a handy fellow, so if this takes a lot of arcane knowledge and the ability to fix things, I'm out.
It will be in the mid-90s here today, cloudy and humid. The dramatic light is gone. What is left is good soft light for portraits. Ha! That's not happening. I mean, it could. My state has given the green light to everything reopening now. The hair salons and gyms are back in business. Everything must be o.k. Meanwhile, reported Corona cases doubled last week in the neighborhood surrounding downtown. I think I'll be waiting for awhile.
I rented "Uncut Gems" last night. Awful. Just awful. I didn't finish it. I wish I hadn't watched as much of it as I did. I need a gentle movie. I don't need my nerves jangled any more than they are.
I could stand to watch a movie that has no conflict, that just moves from one interesting and beautiful scene to another. I don't think they make those. Right now, that seems a terrible thing.
Why don't you just do it your way. fuck the rules.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was going to be early but I guess I've let the earliest morning hours gallop away. I'm reading one of the best books I've read in ages - a friend sent it -
Kuh, Katharine. My Love Affair with Modern Art: Behind the Scenes with a Legendary Curator. New York: Arcade Publishing, 2006.
Oh it is just gorgeous and familiar and makes me feel "at home." Which is a big accomplishment for anything - over these past two years. to feel home.
But I was coming back to comment more on yesterdays post- on how much I I - devoured his soul -never tired of listening to him - his brain an aphrodisiac beyond anything I had ever experienced - a boy/man that man who wrote that and hundreds of poems about our years. The one who made me cry an explosion of tears when he made me cum. or call out the Lord's name -- over and over - to his delight - that magicians smile those amber eyes glinting with pleasure at his power.
But also -my most equal - spectacular balancing power? over his soul, brain and cock.
I was thinking - sometime - about 5 or 6 moths after he died - when. I was visiting the boys in the neighborhood - one of them - Derek commented on how good I looked - he said something about my skin glowing and just overall how "good" I looked. And I remember feeling so guilty - about that. I still do.
Ah. The stories told here at the C.S. I guess mostly by me. I suppose I should have started a blog and stuck with it rather than polluting friends. but I didn't. :)
Oh yea - that movie isn't for you. I hated it but watched it - something about Adam Sandler fascinates me as an actor. He was something else in that movie. But definitely not for you. Gentle soul.
We are one of the "still closed" states. Our governor will be announcing our staggered openings tomorrow. I'm scared.
oh I did start watching "Modern Love" - it is gentle but so far I've cried every episode (only watched 2 so far).
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ReplyDeleteAnd I also - he was my place of peace - of rest - of security. Often - Id arrive exhausted and worn out from hustling art, furniture whatever it was I was selling at the time - climb into our bed - and let him tell me stories close to my ear - till I fell asleep in his arms.
Not a good day. But a good day. I am happy - I am sad.
A movie, which would be one of the genres of the literary arts, without conflict.
ReplyDeleteI do not think such a thing is possible.
Of course, many people have tried, I think Mad Sam B came the closest.
Beckett spent his career exploring the dead time in between the moments of choice and conflict, most famously in Waiting for Godot. I just do not think you will find him any the less nerve jangling. I find Mad Sam B immensely funny, but he always leaves me feeling worse off for the journey.
There is always conflict in a story, I think. Even the most benign ones. I had a boss once ban a staged reading of Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass” because the fucking idiot said it had no conflict in it. Of course, he also banned “Endgame” by being inappropriate for college audiences and all the other bosses including supposedly liberal ones claimed to have read the play and agreed.
All life feeds on other life, even the hippy dippy vegetarians, do it. I give them credit for being coy about it, but a person cannot have indoor plumbing and nice cotton clothes without someone else living with Dengue fever and naked poverty.
If you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t, then you should do what you want to do.
I happen to love the glass plate pictures, but you know I have always gotten pleasure out of the things that make you miserable. It is not deliberate. I like you and would rather you not be miserable. – so yeah, do what you want.
I’m in the midst of another fucking deadline. This time a translation which is even less fun than free writing, but I have not gotten to stage yet where I will kill my own deer and butcher my own cows. I still have enough decency to be a hypocrite about that.
I think maybe you should watch the Marx Brothers or “My Man Godfrey” a great old screwball comedy. There is going to be conflict, but I don’t thin it will leave your nerves jangled. Oh my gosh, I did watch the “Seberg” film. Ugh. Not only factually inaccurate, but well, it will leave your nerves jangled. I did watch “Best of Show” in honor of the passing of Fred Willard. That was a pleasant experience.
Probably best to stay away from any sort of art film. All art is pornography of some sort and will just fuck you up.
Well back to goddamn Teutonic syntax for me. Lord love a duck.
Catch you on the flip side.
Yes, I know there cannot be true dramatic action without conflict, but I think I am tiring of dramatic action. I think I'll go back to watching Rick Steves travel videos, though that is what I used to watch with Ili and it might be difficult. The Marx brothers would be good, but I've seen the all so many times. Chaplin, too. Some romantic comedies from the '30s. If I had a DVD player, I'd watch all the "Thin Man" movies again though I've seen them a bunch. Charlie Chan, too. I have them all. Perhaps I should return to Fitzpatrick and his view of the "little people" of other continents. But no, that would just be wrong.
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