I haven't anything to say. I haven't any pictures to illustrate it. There is no embarrassing wealth of riches here. I have time but no inspiration, and even time seems to be in shorter supply. I lose an hour at the beginning and the ending of each day somehow. I can't explain this. No matter how early I get up, my life seems to begin later than it used to. In the evening, it is suddenly time for bed. In between, I just get tired. Some exercise, a trip to the grocery store. . . I don't know. Life, I'm sure, is different elsewhere, perhaps on the other side of that wall.
I've become too good at self-isolating.
Without social media, something I shun, I am out of the mix. I haven't any idea of what people are doing or saying other than what I see on the six o'clock news. It seems terrible.
But then I drive by Country Club College. Students returned to campus this weekend, to the residence halls, to the dorms. The place looks like a giant ant farm. Everyone is required to wear a mask while on campus, so the kids are pouring out into the town like the buildings are on fire. The state allowed bars to open yesterday. I wonder if the kids will go? My own hometown will be the Covid Capital of the World in a few weeks. Having pocketed the bed rental money, the college will be able to send the kids back home.
Am I being paranoid?
I should not drive by. It is bad for me. I have not seen so many six foot legs in a long while now. They all seem to be perfect specimens in their six inch shorts. It makes me feel round and fat and puffy.
Which reminds me. "Cuties" is apparently not a good film and is child sexploitation. I read that. Both the left and the right agree (which reminds me that they have become mirror reflections of one another). Apparently, the the real life kids in the movie had whores and pedophiles for parents. They will surely join Rose McGown for a roundtable discussion on either Fox or CNN in the near future. I don't want to get into trouble, so I will go back and retract yesterday's post. Netflix is predicted to remove the film from its catalog very soon. Vigilantes left and right have taken to the streets.
We need to get back to real entertainment like "The Donna Reed Show" and "Father Knows Best." There lay the bones of thoughtful entertainment.
What ought to happen is that the proper authorities get a test group of men and attach sensors to their nether regions and then screen "Cuties" to see how they react. Oh, wait. . . there have already been studies done on that topic. You don't want to know the results. As Trump points out, you can't trust the science.
That's what he said yesterday about climate change. He's got a better idea. It's going to get cooler. Wait. You'll see.
That's what we have been doing for over half a century now, waiting to see what happens. There is no end to waiting and seeing, it seems. There is never enough data for the dumb.
But how do you tell Trumpers that? I insulted my mother yesterday telling her that people too dumb to understand how government works shouldn't be allowed to vote. When mechanics are working on an airliner, I don't step in and tell them how to fix it. I wouldn't feel comfortable having the surgeon stop in the middle of a surgery, turn to me and ask, "What do you think I should do now?" My mother hasn't a clue to how governments are set up, what powers they have and don't have. She doesn't know who her state legislators are, what the role of the county government is. She is just like Trump. But I could see that I had hurt her feelings.
There is no doubt that it all our public systems have gotten to be too complex. There are over a million law enforcement agents in the U.S., but there are over 1,350,000 lawyers. True statistic. More lawyers than cops. Look it up. The number of attorneys is growing exponentially each year, yet no one is marching to defund them. Trump loves attorneys. He loves the courts. He knows he can tie almost anything up indefinitely in the convoluted partisan system we have. Even attorneys don't understand it. I was almost married to one for a long time. She was smart and good in her area, but when we would watch the news, she would most often say, "I don't know that area of the law."
She was pretty, too. Did I mention she was good in her area?
But yes, things have gotten too complex for laymen. And maybe it just pisses people off. And maybe they just transfer that frustration onto science, too. The complexities of life have become overwhelming.
Perhaps we should return to fables and to tales. Paul Bunyan. Johnny Appleseed. The serpent in the garden. The daughters of Lot.
I will make it up to my mother today. I will ask her advice on all the things I don't understand. That's the deal, you see. It is difficult not to act like an arrogant prick. I know this, but I don't know that. I will ask her about "that."
One area all people seem to be confident experts in, however, is morality. They know right from wrong. I don't know how, but they do. They feel qualified to tell me how I should feel about things. I mean everything. "But where do you find these truths?" I ask. "Where are these inscribed in the cosmos?"
"Well that's the beauty, you see. It is not as if you have to be trained for years to know this stuff. You just do. And we know that we are right and they are wrong, and that is why we are better than them."
"Than they."
"What?"
"That is why we are better than they, not them."
"What the fuck are you talking about? That sounds weird."
"O.K. That is why we are better than they are, not than them are."
"Whatever, dude. There is something wrong with you. You're really fucked up."
"Just saying."
ReplyDeleteYou think a lot.
I am a dolt. I tried to watch it - two times. Early this morning being the second. I got to the part where beautiful, innocent Amy does her first hump of the floor in front of her friend - you know after the oh so sweet stuffing their faces with gummy worms scene. In Amy's fathers new bedroom for his new wife.
I felt sick to my stomach. Is it cause I'm a mother to a daughter - now grown of course - but who was a ballerina and lyrical dancer - who played with Barbies long after it was "socially acceptable" by the cool girls? We watched Beauty & the Beast for years and years. Alice in Wonderland. Sleeping Beauty was a favorite of hers too.
Am I being too "white privileged," to not finish it?
Fuck I KNOW about what is out there - I've travelled to those Muslim markets in Paris and the immigrant suburbs. I've been to off the safari scene Tanzania. Jamaica etc. I try to make it a habit to find all the people and places when I visit a foreign land, not just the "pretty" stuff. Shit, I've seen stuff in this country that would fuck people up. As probably most of your readers.
So, my review is the film maker has made a brave movie. A+ for that even though I haven't finished - and might never. An F for me for not being able to take it.
And that is reaching for art - I think. Bravery. Added to that - is the fact that everyone - on both sides are freaking out.
We need more art exposure in this country. More dialogue in groups. It isn't always easy. And that's sometimes the point. And you need other people around to help "see what they see" and unpack all the different reactions. Without yelling.
It is on the NOT SAFE Lisa movie list at present.
I want something sweet. Not to eat but as an agent to remake my morning. I went into the garden and fed the tomatoes - those now big viney things with not such pretty but will be scrumptious tomatoes. I tended to my weed plants. And I have a wonderful giant pot of citronella. I love to rub my hands over it and smell the scent - same with the lemon verbena and lavender, the mint.
Alas, that is all the time I have to try to make myself feel - something other than an empty sadness.
I must away to the Gulag.
ReplyDeleteOne Trumpy comment. So the Gulag is run by One. A very big Trump supporter. Or at least a very big Right Wing guy - how he is able to marry the two - I can't answer that. He was one of the people that told me the Covid would be all over on Nov. 4th. After Trump wins.
So there was to be a scheduled elective surgery for his wife. And I mentioned yesterday that my brother was visiting from Florida.
Now - this is a tiny office, I'm here by myself now and only Mr. will be back later. I was told early on it was a no mask required space. I still wear one if I have company.
Yesterday I received a phone call while here, from the Boss, at the hospital, asking me "If I was being socially distant and safe with my brother - because his wife was having surgery."
FUCK THAT!
I told my brother about it last night and he lost his shit. He sent me a copy of his negative covid test. He said "Show those mother fucking hypocrites how its done - how people who are being responsible are handling things - here's a copy of my test."
Now, I know there are folks out there who don't believe the rapid tests are anything worth paying attention to. However it was what was required of my fam to get on a plane.
My brother paid over $300 out of pocket to take the test - he and his wife. He said he felt like they scratched his brain while having it done.
Bottom line they did what was required of them to be as cautionary as possible.
And NOW the "it's a hoax" guy is worried about me infecting him - in turn infecting his wife. Who has been sitting at my side nearly smothering me for several weeks, before her surgery (which got postponed cause they reached the Covid limit on elective surgeries).
Okay. Just reporting some real world shit.
Get your boss to watch Cuties and tell you what he thinks. That should clear a lot of things up for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd those Florida tests are bullshit. Qwest labs which processes most of them left hundreds of thousands of them sitting without performing the tests. Florida is the Covid state and proud of it.