I am up very early. I didn't sleep much at all last night. I was discouraged yesterday, felt the slings and arrows of personal snubs far too deeply. At least that is how I feel this morning. Last night, I felt much more outrage. I poured it out onto the page that I thought I would publish this morning. Thank goodness I wasn't drinking. The writing was full of self-pitying vitriol. I'm done with that now. Even the disappointment I felt is beginning to fade. But it sure made for a restless night.
The upshot of it all, the overarching feeling that lingers, is that I want to practice silence. I don't want to communicate with anyone now, not through writing, not through images. My shrunken Covid world is about to shrink further to the boundaries of my own yard. I'm putting up the barbed wire and getting attack dogs. I want to stay in my room. The goofiness has been sucker punched out of me. I'm done for awhile.
For the rest of the period, you may talk amongst yourselves.
Thank you.
As a white man, just let me say . . .
ReplyDeleteAs an expert in my field, may I add . . .
As an individual who has survived more than three score years upon this scorched globe, might I offer . . .
Nah. Now is the time of non-expertise and anti-intellectualism. If you ain’t got a grievance, well then you ain’t got the bull horn.
Silence is a great idea. I’m gonna let the pygmy cannibals feast on each other until there’s nothing but a boneyard left. I will grant you that it is a a cruel blood sport, gladiatorial combat amongst the mentally deficient and the intellectually vapid, but it is entertainment nonetheless.
There are approximately 150 million native born citizens of the United States over the age of 35, the only requirement to be a nominee for President of the United States. Tonight we will have before us a 74 year old vulgar imbecile who having been born into privileged wealth has failed at everything thing he has ever accomplished, and a 77 year old former vice-president, whose major accomplishment during his campaign is not being the other guy.
That these two are being televised world-wide as the very best of what our democratic process could find out of 150 million of our citizens is perhaps what should be the topic of conversation and not the ongoing ritual of Grievance, Guilt, and Anti-Intellectual Misery.
But. . . I feel so strongly, and personally I'm. . . .
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I stayed away yesterday - from the blog. And was going to give you space and quiet today. Sometimes I talk too much.
But I'm habitual here -- it is difficult to break habits.
Feeling that, I thought I should probably go write somewhere else. Unloading all my personal poop everywhere here when this is your space.
I apologize for the messes I've made. But thank you for the space to have done so.
I've always been sort of crazy about the thought of you, if that is of any balm. As morose and misery filled as you sometimes are. You've always been able to draw me in with what you say, post, photograph. You are interesting to my brain.
I like you, C.S.
From all the way over here.
Probably not too help much but - I'm trying to be a truth teller. At least my own truth.
It's a cool photo - using your colors.
If you need a friend,
you've got one in me.
x
Yea, but you only know the virtual me I've made up. The existential me is apparently something else.
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