Day one. I put ten dollars into the travel fund. Starting is the roughest part. Continuing is the next. The thing is, I don't want to be a non-drinker, but I can't continue to be a solo drinker night and day. I want to be a social drinker again, and, of course, to drink some scotch in bed after sex. That is the best scotch ever.
I'd start drinking again tonight for that.
I have been feeling "punky" since Christmas and have had a lot of couch time watching television. That is not at all like me, not during the day, but it has seemed necessary. I watched "See Know Evil" first, a documentary about a kid who was given some credit for the "heroin chic" look in fashion photography of the 90s. Q had moved to NYC then and would probably appreciate the doc more than I. I've always been more of a romantic sissy than a street punk, but I'll recommend it to you anyway.
I started to watch Woody Allen's "A Rainy Day in New York," but I had eaten a piece of gummy candy and that shit creeped up on me with sneakers on. Yesterday afternoon, I started it again. First of all--hey, what the fuck? They are showing that old pervert again? Didn't he rape his children and make misogynistic movies all his life? What's up with that?!?!?!
The film did little to dispel those attitudes. It was a typical Woody romantic comedy with a sentimental boy longing for a disappearing world and old romance bumbling his way through a zeitgeist against which he rebels. He has a love interest, of course, a ditz whose loyalties are called into question. Allen inserts a serious scene that might have been lifted from "Interiors" where the mother of the protagonist tells him she used to be a hooker, but the film ends under a clock in the rain where the boy begins a new romance.
The movie is corny, and I wouldn't recommend it but to diehard Allen fans (of which I am one).
Last night, I watched "Jay Myself," a documentary about the photographer Jay Maisel. I won't describe it. This film has a very limited audience.
I watched all three films with a #MeToo eye. Money, sex, power, romance, male privilege. . . .
Then I switched over to YouTube and watched more pole vaulting. I don't know what to say. It is biological. It is evolutionary. You can say it is wrong. You can, if you are anything like me, shake your fists at the heavens and scream that the cosmos is unjust. You can take to the streets to twist and shout.
But then you go to sleep and wake up wet or with an erection and and as much as you try to think pure thoughts, like Martin Luther, you must take the cat of nine tails to yourself and whip the twisted thoughts away.
Or you might do what I do.
What? No! Just walking down a beach at sunset holding hands. You were kidding, right?
Thus has begun my post-Christmas season. I just needed to get a jump on the new year. This year I must be more productive. It would be almost impossible not to, but I could devolve. I am capable of that. If Trump would just get that vaccine to me, I know I'd get good again.
Until then, it is just me and my attitude, a healthy diet, an abstaining from drink, and constant motion.
We'll see how that works out.
ReplyDeleteOpening with Sex.
Are you burning the GooP Vag Candle?
I had a flash back memory. It has to do with movies and Boys.
I used to sneak over Brandon's house and we'd watch movies in bed - yea yea other stuff too - but it was Being in Bed with a Boy Watching Movies memory - it was warm and fuzzy.
And I was wondering if it is just my imagination or did we love to watch "An American Werewolf in London," circa 1981 on VCR??? and he loved "The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai" and the original "Repo Man."
Remember renting VCR movies?
In the morning he would bring us up two big Bloody Mary's in beer mugs.
He was an asshole - most girls memory of him is "Asshole." And he was/is whiny too. A Scorpio. He was my best friend. He says we were the original "Friends with Benefits." What a dork. Also, too.
Of course, I loved him.
He was perhaps what you'd call "for a limited audience."
I didn't watch movies in bed with a Boy again until T. Aw. That sweet Boyman.
Life is sure something .... innit?
I can't get through the Woody Allen movie. I'm on night 3 of try. I'll finish it. Prolly not tonight it is v.v. late. I have an early and busy day.
Oh. There is much going on at the NNPoE. But I have to be careful of HIPPA. I think. I'm not really sure. It's a confusing place. People can be really challenging.
I remain ever optimistic, however, there are Secrets and Intrigue and I believe intentional "testing" and potential "spying."
You may think I'm being dramatic. I'm not.
The entire female staff had to "dress up" and parade to "I'm too Sexy for My Shirt," at the conclusion of last weeks staff meeting. And the Practioner (a female OF COURSE NO MAN WOULD DO THIS ANYMORE - DREAM ABOUT IT MAyBE BUT NOT OUT LOUD ... oh wait. I'm on the Blog of a Female Pole Vaulter Youtube watcher) critiqued each of our outfits. Oh yes, we had to "cat walk."
Listen, I just want the training, the $$. It was really strange but I'm getting a Christmas Bonus tomorrow and a portion is DEFINITELY going into the Vacation Fund.
We need a name for the Fund. Like a Selfish Sunshine Fund. Maybe if we raise enough money after expenses we could donate a portion to a local charity of wherever we are going.
Just an idea for the group to consider. We should talk about Group Size. Not that I'm getting bossy or anything (I'm just really good a trip planning).
For another time.
Anyway. I had a doozy today too.
Ok. I took a Jungian Personality test this morning. I think I might be bi-polar. Is that a personality type?
My two top percentages were: Wise Old Man & Innocent Child.
If that isn't a WTF I don't know what is. Talk about sexy.
Oh there's more. But it's late and I must prepare for Tuesday. It is our biggest day of the week, if I haven't mentioned that before. Sigh.
About you....
I don't have the time tonight. I promise tomorrow.
I've never had Scotch you know. In my life.
I didn't get to my felting project and my visit with Charlotte. Oh well. I know your readers are just miserable about that.
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