I have a lot more to say about my imminent death, but that will have to wait. I have another story to tell.
In my search to find the secrets of eternal youth and life, I found that while THC raises blood pressure, CBD lowers it. Almost all medicines raise blood pressure, things like Xanax and antihistamines, anything you might take to help you sleep. Soooo. . . I took myself to the CBD store. My cousin who is a lifetime pothead went there and came back looking stoned.
"You smoked it up," I said.
"No. . . it's the stuff they gave me at the CBD shop."
She gave me a card that gets me a 10% discount if I go there.
So I went. It is not a medical marijuana store. It is on Main Street in a nearby shopping area with upscale bars and restaurants, float tank shops, hair places, etc. When I walked in, the store was empty. A woman came out from the back to greet me.
"How can I help you," she purred.
"My cousin told me she came here and got something that felt like Xanax," I laughed.
She started telling me about the difference between Indicus and Sativa, etc. I told her I just wanted something that would help me chill out at bedtime. She took me to a display.
"These two are a bit different. This one does not have THC. You will feel relaxed but not a body buzz. This one has the legal amount of THC and is a Delta 8 compound. Delta 8 is one molecule off from Delta 9 which is THC."
"Give me one of each," I said. I thought to see the difference. I mean. . . it's a CBD store.
I couldn't wait to try them, but I resisted until an hour before bed. I decided to eat the Delta 8 one. I really didn't think it would be anything.
I woke up in the middle of the night. My body was totally buzzing. I was flying. WTF? I got up to pee and drink some water. Yup. I was fucked up.
I slept for eleven hours, and I had to force myself out of bed at that. The sun was shining, the birds singing. I was still in the big velvet bag.
How can it be?!? Holy smokes. Is this what the Housewives of Lake Mary do? Those are some pretty good over the counter drugs. Or pretty bad.
I will try the other ones tonight. I will probably like them better. I don't like getting fucked up. I do like to "chillax."
Q gave me shit for something I said about "special language" in a post. Too bad he doesn't have a blog anymore. He'll just have to tell his wife his barbed witticisms. But I must say, he's found the secret to being a successful male--go along to get along. The world loves men who don't cause trouble. All a fellow has to do is say nothing to rise to middle management. Men are toxic. We all knew that long before it was formalized. Just watch the Depp/Heard trial. I guess after hanging with H.S. Thompson for a while, he thought he could be a writer if he acted badly and said outrageous things. Sean Penn, too. Like Thompson, they are short on formal education. They take lots of drugs and use bad language. Unlike Thompson, however, neither of them have any writing talent.
Oh. . . if only drugs and bad behavior could make one an artist. . . . But as Bukowski once said, God made a lot of artist but not so very much art.
Speaking of Depp and Heard. . . I fell totally and completely and madly in love last night. I watched Dr. Shannon Curry testify. I will never ever be the same again.
It is like they made her up in Hollywood. She has to be completely fictional. Truly. We will find out that she has no credentials at all, that she finished High School barely. But no, she is fucking brilliant. She took the attorney apart with her answers. Nope. I am starting a Fan Club. I am in love.
You can watch her testimony here.
It has become my experience that all young professional women look like this now. It's a new and wonderful world.
The day has gotten away from me. I need to move and discharge the Delta 8 or whatever it is that is making me so dopey. I'll call today to have the annual delivery of mulch so that I can become a man again this weekend.
I think I am going to switch things around. I'll only drink Light Beer and meditate.
It's the Cowboy Way.
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