Vertigo

I'm not doing so well this morning.  I've had terrible vertigo for about the last 21 hours.  I was at the gym.  I lay back on a platform to do some crunches and the world began to spin.  This happened about a month ago at the outdoor gym when I lay back to do hanging rows.  Tipping my head back caused the crystals in my inner ear to move out of place, I guess.  As before, yesterday I could not walk straight.  I was in a panic and sat still for a very long time.  Then I staggered slowly out the door and to my car.  Should I drive?  Of course not.  Did I?  Of course.  On every curve and over every bump, I felt the world begin to twirl.  I made it home.  I went in and lay on the bed and tried doing the Epley Maneuver.  Then I lay back with my head elevated and fell asleep.  When I woke, I was still off kilter.  O.K.  What to do?  I called the Ear, Nose, and Throat clinic I take my mother to.  They could see me for an evaluation--in a week.  I was guessing that within the week, this would have all straightened itself out.  I was not fearful.  I was sick, but not dying.  It was not like getting a pain in the gut.  Then I think I am dying for sure.  No, I've had this before, and eventually it goes away.  Why?  I think the crystal dissolves over time.  Didn't I read that?  I think I did.  I've had this problem off and on ever since I got knocked through the air on my Vespa.  Something happened then.  

So now. . . I'm just trying to live through it.  

When I was at my house, I called my mother to tell her what was going on.  "I may have to go to an E.R." I said, just to let her know.  

My mother was in a panic.  

"What about my pills?"

I can't miss more than a couple hours, you see.  She cannot take care of herself in any way.  She is 100% dependent upon my care.  She worries I might go to the hospital in terms of what would happen to her.  

And so. . . . 

There's a big shit storm about the "sexualized" images produced on X.  Oh, people. . . who are you?  

I fear most the Moral Majority.  

And, of course, the Libertines run a close second.  Maybe not too close, though.  

As always, I want to live in Leave It to Beaverland and go to visit the weird from time to time.  I like the weird, of course, and not only because it breaks the "I before E" rule.  But I never enjoy enjoy the other.  I'm like Ozzie and Harriet.  They raised Little Ricky, if you catch my drift.  

I received a text from T last night (except after "C", you know--it may take you awhile to get this one).  He said that the clothing company to which he sent my photos are forwarding them to corporate headquarters for final approval.  They won't be using my photos, of course.  If they like him well enough, they will fly T to L.A. for a photoshoot.  My images will go into the Lost and Found bin like everything else I do.  

Selavy.  

And that, I've decided, will be the name on my "business" card.  And on my website if I can ever manage to put one together.  I just can't decide if it should be "Selavy Photography" or "Photography Selavy."  I'm leaning toward the latter.  

Just a quick (very) mock up of a flyer I would paste in some of the stranger places around town.  Needs a lot of work.  I just haven't had time.  But. . . would I get responses?  Oh--I guess I would need some contact info, huh?  I'll set up an internet phone line if I can figure out how to do that.  Chat can probably tell me.  It can also help me design a better flyer.  It is often smarter than I.  

I couldn't make dinner last night, couldn't go grocery shopping and didn't feel I could cook, so I got us take out.  But now there is not breakfast material in the house, either.  I will have to do something about that.  But the world is still spinning if I look up or look down or turn my head to the right or to the left.  It spins a bit other than that, too.  

What to do?  I may just sleep the day away and hope to get better.  And so. . . .