Nepenthe

Despite all the vivid dreaming, erotic and other, I've slept well the past number of nights, and when I do wake, I am not anxious or uncomfortable.  Quite the opposite, really.  I feel calm and relaxed and somewhat groovy.  Getting out among people this weekend was a real boon to my mental health, too.  I think so anyway.  I felt I as if I had taken Nepenthe or Soma or some other mythical feel good drug.  

I've gone to bed at nine the past few nights and slept or sleep/thought nearly ten hours.  What's going on?  

It seems to me that real or imagined, people's reactions to me were positive.  It was as if the Quasimodo Pinhead costume had fallen away and I was my old self again.  

But maybe I am merely hallucinating.  It could be some devious sort of mental illness.  

If it is, I'll take it.  

Don't worry.  It can't last.  I'll be back to my old Black Ass self again soon enough.  

My mother is leaving home today.  She has decided to go with the girls on the train trip to a town an hour away by train.  It will be a real ordeal, I think, but the girl's are insistent, and though my mother is worried, maybe she is looking forward to it, too.  She hasn't done anything like this for the past couple years.  After today, I'll be the only one of the two of us in lockdown.  

My Miami friend is coming to town this weekend and wants me to meet her on Saturday night.  People just don't get it.  Maybe they think I'm kidding.  I try to explain, but it does no good.  I talked to T yesterday and he asked, "When are you coming up?"  Really?  "Bring your mom.  She'll like it up here."

But not to dwell.  I will take my big assed camera out today and try to make some pictures.  Maybe the lab will have my film ready today.  I'll load 8 double sided film holders, 16 pieces of 4x5 film, and shoot them up so that I can try the stand development thing, and if that works, I have ideas.  If the weather is o.k., I might try to drive to the coast on Thursday morning and have some photo fun.  I'd be back before dinner.  

That's really all there is to tell.  I'd like to have some pleasant adventure today, but that is not a thing you can predict or plan.  Pleasant adventures are just gifts from the gods, it seems.  

I guess I got one just in time.