Saturday, May 20, 2017
Yesterday morning, just as I got out of bed, there was a loud explosion. And the electricity went out. A squirrel had crawled into the transformer. Kaboom! My neighbor pointed to him at the bottom of the light pole--fried. Fucking squirrels.
So I was without power for about three hours. No post.
Ili and I went for a run on the exercise course and showered and got on the Vespa to get an early lunch. The sky was cloudy and the air was humid, but we haven't had rain here in a very long time. We are in a severe drought.
"Do you think its going to rain?"
Halfway there, the downpour started. It was the first time I rode the Vespa in the rain. Some facts. You get soaked. You can't see for the water on your lenses. And its cold, even in the summer.
We turned around and went home. We laughed and got into the shower. It was a memorable experience, I said, a touchstone moment.
The rain stopped just as we got home. It hasn't rained a drop since.
We got into the car and went to the little hipster bar that has just started serving lunch with all locally grown, organic produce. Sounded good.
It sucked. Fucking hipsters.
The rest of the day was spent running Ili errands. We got a print framed and picked up a chest of drawers she had just bought at an out of the way--really--used furniture store. They can't be called antiques, I think, but the woman refinishes them. Ili's piece was painted in bright colors. On the way in, I saw three wrought iron chaise lounges. I have always wanted them. I looked at the price. $30/each. I bought two. I will have to drive up and get them next week. I'll send you a picture when I do.
We took the chest of drawers to Ili's place. I realized I hadn't been there for months. While she did some things around the house, I lay on the couch and read. I had not thoughts, no worries. Just to sit and read. Man.
The other night, I was reading through an old journal that I had been carrying. It was from 2011, back when I had no girl, back when I went everywhere with a camera and a notebook, back when there were no distractions, back when I could write and take photographs. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed reading my writing. I used to be witty and clever. There were sketches of people I saw, stories I would make up about them, little vignettes of things that would happen. I wrote a lot.
"You should do that," Ili said when I told her about it.
"You have to be alone to do that. You have to just sit and look and listen and think. You can't do it when you are distracted by company. It is impossible."
There is a greatness in being alone. And I am really good at it. I thrive in alone time. Really, being deprived of it gives birth to madness. But I know some cannot be alone. There attention needs constant diversion. There must be chatter.
I am not that clever. I need time to observe and think.
Today Ili must work she says, so I will have the first chance this year to cull my photos. I have much need.
In a couple weeks, I am going back to Santa Fe for a photo workshop. It is about making digital negatives for a variety of purposes. One is for making palladium prints, which is what I learned to do there two years ago. I've decided that I will set up my garage for this kind of work when I get back. It will cost me much money to get everything I need, but I must. I can't continue to make nothing week after week, month after month.
I have yearnings.
Santa Fe will be fun, too. I am staying some extra days to explore. Ili is coming out, too, her first time in New Mexico.
O.K. I have to get started. There is much to do in the hours I have while Ili works. I hope to do something.
at 5:54 AM