Thursday, July 27, 2017
If you are looking for happy, I'm not your man. I've been a lousy mood, a terrible mood. It is the heat and the humidity I like to think. But it is more. Everything seems too close, too restrictive. I need space. I need room. I need time.
My needs are great.
I was happier when I had the studio. I have to figure out how to get another one. It was a life boat, a refuge. Once you've had it, not having it is bad. Really, really bad.
I grow lazy. I grow fat. I don't want to exercise any more. Everything hurts. But it is no good being both fat and old, especially if you are a photographer. It is easier to yell at a fat old man than to yell at one who has slim distinction. I like that phrase, though "imperially slim" has it beaten by a mile.
I guess I could just quit eating and drinking, but that isn't very appealing either. There is small comfort in that.
I always "fill out" in the summer, I think. That is the indoor season here.
As I've said, I've been going through the old hard drives in search of time past. There is much. Perhaps there is too much.
I hope to restore the past and modify it. That is the coming future.
It was 78 degrees at 6 a.m. with 98% humidity. These are dangerous times. Life threatening ticks and mosquitos abound. Microbes and spores. Mold and mildew and funguses.
I told you I was in a lousy mood. I think I'll take a walk.
at 4:56 AM