Lousy Mood

If you are looking for happy, I'm not your man.  I've been a lousy mood, a terrible mood.  It is the heat and the humidity I like to think.  But it is more.  Everything seems too close, too restrictive.  I need space.  I need room.  I need time.

My needs are great.

I was happier when I had the studio.  I have to figure out how to get another one.  It was a life boat, a refuge.  Once you've had it, not having it is bad.  Really, really bad.

I grow lazy.  I grow fat.  I don't want to exercise any more.  Everything hurts.  But it is no good being both fat and old, especially if you are a photographer.  It is easier to yell at a fat old man than to yell at one who has slim distinction.  I like that phrase, though "imperially slim" has it beaten by a mile.

I guess I could just quit eating and drinking, but that isn't very appealing either.  There is small comfort in that.

I always "fill out" in the summer, I think.  That is the indoor season here.

As I've said, I've been going through the old hard drives in search of time past.  There is much.  Perhaps there is too much.

I hope to restore the past and modify it.  That is the coming future.

It was 78 degrees at 6 a.m. with 98% humidity.  These are dangerous times.  Life threatening ticks and mosquitos abound.  Microbes and spores.  Mold and mildew and funguses.

I told you I was in a lousy mood.  I think I'll take a walk.