I know other people's dreams are uninteresting and worse, but this one may have some significance. I'll keep it brief. Last night I dreamed I was taking the best photos of my life in a small town in the far mountain west. . . but my camera wouldn't work. It was all kinds of messed up, and it was the only one I had.
"What do you think it means, doc?"
That's as close to photography as I got yesterday. I did go out for a tortuous old man shuffle run at the park on the half mile pars course, shuffling between exercise stations as best I could. For whatever reason, I can't breathe, and at each station I have to stand to catch my breath for awhile before I do the exercise. I was leaning on a sign, chest heaving, sweat dripping, when a woman walked by. She continued on her way for a bit, then came back.
"Are you O.K.?"
Oh, shit. . . I guess I looked like I was having a stroke or a heart attack. Embarrassing. We chatted for a moment and she showed me the scar from her recent hip replacement. Her wanting to show me her upper thigh made me feel a little better. But hellfire. . . .
I don't think it will get any better, but I will keep trying. I once ran 26.2 miles in less than four hours, you know.
After my accident, I thought I could willingly give up the sporting life. Not so willingly, really, but that I could accept that I wouldn't be trying to defeat all opponents any longer. I would be happy, I thought, to sit in cafes and drink coffees and wines and be happy just to be part of the scene.
I should have older friends and eschew the gymroids.
My conservative friend in North Carolina sent me his local weather forecast for the coming week.
"Fall is around the corner," he said.
I sent him mine.
"You're an asshole. . . did you know that?"
Today, The NY Times started touting autumn. WTF? I guess that is how it feels, though, when your high temperatures will be in the seventies. The daytime high here will be 91. Whatever. Weather is nature's imposition. A question, however, is whether humans are part of or apart from nature. It is both a serious and an esoteric question that is argued without resolution. The consequences of human activity, thought, are becoming increasingly well-known. It is hotter than it used to be. That is bad news for many people, but worse for us here in the Sunny South as we wait for summer's end.
I'm being victimized!
Much to the enjoyment of friends who have left the state.
Maids today. Much to do. I have become more slothful than ever. I drop things everywhere and leave them. Today is the day for picking up and putting away. It is a maddening activity that is never-ending. I swear, I'm ready for the sanatorium. Is that different from a sanatarium? I'm seeking an easy and gentle life.
But such is not nature's way, so I will toil on, dreaming of asylum.
I just wanted to work those words in, however awkwardly. I had another paragraph about morality, but I'll save that for a better day.
No comments:
Post a Comment